Facing the Future: Why Aging Care Planning Can’t Wait
Preparing for Care was recently featured in an Anderson Magazine article. The following is the article text.
For many families, talking about aging care is uncomfortable — a conversation often sidestepped until it’s too late. But for Caroline Bell, founder of Preparing for Care, it’s a conversation that can’t wait. Caroline has spent years guiding families through the maze of senior care options, financial realities, and emotional tolls that arise when no plan is in place. We sat down to talk about why aging care planning is often avoided, what happens when it’s neglected, and how taking action now can save not only money — but relationships.
“Aging care is still taboo,” Caroline explains. “Most seniors aren’t going to bring it up, and adult children don’t feel comfortable asking about money — not with friends, and certainly not with their parents.”
The biggest issue, she says, is a lack of education. “Even financial planners don’t always understand the real costs of aging. They might sell a long-term care policy and say you’re covered, but that doesn’t explain the difference between an all-inclusive assisted living community and one with tiered pricing based on care levels. People are shocked when they realize what things actually cost.”
It’s the most common phrase Caroline hears — and one I’ve heard from my own mother. But as she points out, “What does it actually cost to live at home safely?” For many seniors, that mindset is simply a way to stop the conversation. “It’s not a plan, it’s a response,” she says. “And adult children have to learn to gently push back — say, ‘That’s fine, Mom. But if you think I’m going to be your full-time support, then let’s at least listen to an elder care advocate so we can understand the costs and what’s needed.’”
The scenario is all too common: a parent falls, receives a sudden diagnosis, or has a health emergency. With no plan in place, adult children are thrust into full-blown crisis mode. “I’ve seen it happen over and over again,” Caroline says. “And when you’re in crisis, everything costs more. You’re forced to make fast decisions, and emotions run high. That’s when families fracture.”
Many people assume that having a will and funeral plan is enough. Caroline is quick to clarify: “That’s not an aging care plan.” A true care plan, she says, includes four key areas:
Safety at Home – Can they still drive safely? Are they at risk of falling? Is dementia a concern?
Legal Readiness – Do they have the right Power of Attorney documents? Does the POA know their wishes?
Financial Transparency – Do adult children understand their parents’ financial picture before a crisis?
Placement Options – Have the parents seen local assisted living, memory care, and skilled nursing options? Do they understand what determines eligibility for each?
“Placement alone can range from $4,000 to over $10,000 per month,” she notes. “And no, Medicare doesn’t cover aging in place or sitters. And don’t forget about Medicaid’s 5-year look-back rule.”
So how can adult children bring this up without sparking fear or defensiveness? Caroline suggests anchoring the conversation in love and support — not fear. “Let your parent know that you’re not trying to take over or make decisions for them. You just want to help create a plan so they stay in control.”
“When there’s no plan, the burden always falls on the adult child or the spouse,” Caroline says. “That resentment builds fast — especially when life has to be put on hold to manage someone else’s care.”
She’s seen dreams of travel and legacy giving vanish because families didn’t plan. “It’s heartbreaking to see seniors who worked hard all their lives lose everything — not just money, but relationships — simply because they never had the right conversations. That’s the saddest part of my work.”
Caroline lights up when talking about families who do take the time to plan. “I had one case with four adult children who all had different opinions. No one wanted to be the ‘bad guy’ who took away the car or moved Mom from the house where she raised them. But we worked through it — it took over a year. Today, she’s thriving in a beautiful senior community. The home was transferred to meet Medicaid guidelines. The funeral is preplanned. And the kids? They come visit on weekends, and no one’s life was turned upside down.”
“Only if your parent is in hospice or truly at the end of life,” Caroline says. “Otherwise, it’s never too late — especially if there’s still a surviving spouse.”
Caroline wants to see aging care planning normalized — not feared. “Just because you talk about aging doesn’t mean something bad is going to happen. And if your family doesn’t have a lot of money, that’s even more reason to plan.”
Because when a crisis hits and no one knows what to do — that’s when lives change for the worse.
“The first step is just to call me,” Caroline says. “We’ll do a 1.5 to 2-hour consultation — yes, I charge hourly, but it’s the best money you’ll ever spend. I’ll walk with you through the entire journey. If you’re the POA or don’t know if you are — that’s okay. We’ll figure it out.”
To learn more or schedule a consultation with Caroline Bell, visit Preparing for Care or call 864-353-7379. Because the most caring thing you can do for your family… is to prepare.